Good Morning guys, I hope all of you are doing great in life. Well, life can’t be a straight line it leads in a zig-zag manner. Similarly, we can’t always stay up in life, there are times when we hit the shallow, deep zone and find it difficult to come up and breathe.
Same was the sight, I experienced in the recent some time. Thoughts, tensions, stress, frustration, and anger took over my mind and heart, leaving me helpless in a way. It was a direct attack on my weakness, and I knew I would act stupid and disastrous.
Emotions are my weakness, anger is the fuel that drives it, and the fire lashes it ignites engulf me in a way that I can’t move out of them, no matter how hard I try. I don’t start an argument or fight, but when I am being poked, again and again, I end up bursting like a volcano.
I know where I lack, I am aware of my weak points, in fact, I have tried hard to overcome them, to deal with them strongly, but what do I do, if after trying almost all sorts of things in life, I end up in the same situation.
They call me immature, too emotional, over-thinker and what not. But, if I have a heart that genuinely cares; if my eyes get wet listening to emotional struggle of people; if I am always up to take stand for others, it doesn’t make me immature in any way. Does it?
I know I need to work on my reactions, I can wait before responding to situations, people, and pokers, but I know I am trying hard, genuinely. But, you know what it hurts, when a single thing in which I lack in clean bowled every positive thing I possess. This is not fair, but at the same time I know that’s how the world is.
This happens, after every couple of months, and by now I should have been accustomed to it, or at least have overcome it, in a way that next time such a thing happens, I can avoid it.
Starting from today, I decide to take some time to react; will channelize my anger into different positive arenas; won’t let the words of others pierce my heart and pinch me; won’t worry about something that has to happen one day, but can’t be planned; and last but not the least I will practice silence, more.
Overthinking, anger, frustration, struggles, helplessness, etc. exist in the life of everybody, but not all react to them in the same way, that’s where the difference lies. Having penned down all this in this post, I chose to give my ultimate shot at overcoming these obstacles of my life. I know, it would take a lot of disciples to achieve it, after continuously failing at it, for years.
This time, I am adamant more than before, making this issue of mine, the ultimate aim of my life. Having a low self-esteem, I often indulge into doubting my own abilities, but this time, after going through hell in the past couple of days, I will act with a realization that self is all that I have in this life. People no matter how close, or how far, won’t be there always, and every step I take today will affect my life, not anybody else’s. So, starting from today, I take a pledge to fight back these weaknesses of mine.
There is a reason for sharing it all here. This post is the evidence of the pledge I take today, and I hope the readers are the witnesses, whom I promise a post soon when such things won’t matter me anymore.
It is my life, and I won’t get it again, thus, I won’t let stupid, silly things, habits, weaknesses take a toll on my behavior, and dance on the floor of my heart and mind, making me go offbeat from life.
I promise that.