Hi guys, how are you all? I hope all of you are doing great in life. Well, before I move forward, I wish you all Happy Valentine’s Day. May all your days be filled with immense love. It’s the day of love, and having been betrayed in love, this day often takes a toll on my heart.
Like every year, the sights of people expressing their love excite me, leave me happy for them. The best part is I don’t get envy of them or their flourishing love stories. In fact, when I see people together, and love winning over the hurdles in life, pleasure fills my heart. Wondering why? Because, having failed in love, I value love a lot more, and knows its worth. This very day brings back the memories of the days spent in love; of those moments of affection and fights, a lot more which isn’t easy to put into words.
Well, amid all this pain, I find myself in the cave on this day. Cancelling all my plans, be it with family or friends, I spend time in the favorite corner of my room, surrounded by the wall with my highly expressive paintings and sketches pasted on it, my teddy bear, named Tiddu, a cup of tea, sketching files, colors, and last but not the least a pen and a paper.
This Valentine’s, my pen is dancing on the heart-floor of emotions. With drained happiness, my life is seeing the flood of emotions, feelings, memories, and what not. Coming to my rescue, my pen has turned up as my lifesaver on this day of love, deep love, passionate love. With the memories of the gone making rounds in my heart and mind, even the pen has started dancing on the heart floor of emotions.
It’s not you I miss, dammed, all that’s bothering me is that moment I came to know about what love is, and alas, that’s what I realized when you came into my life. Being a girl, who never gave importance to any guy, and in fact who never thought would ever fall into such stuff, I never imagined I will be turned into a lover, a genuine one.
Dancing on the heart floor of emotions, this pen has become the door to my inner-self and is uncontrollably pouring my feelings, pains, emotions, and everything I am going through today on paper. You felt so home to my heart. Alas, leaving that home, everything and everybody else feel quite strange.
I am not sure, whether I should call it love, but one thing is for sure, it hurts me that all that investment of my heart and time in you stand useless, and all in vain today. While my pen dances on the heart floor of emotions, the ink feeding the pen seem to be unending today. The hand isn’t aching, the eyes aren’t wet, the smile isn’t invisible, but still, there is something not fine, something that’s bothering me like hell today. No, I am not sad, just not right today. You can’t make out if I am fine or not unless you give me a pen and a paper.
Outside the door of my room, I try my level best to fit in and feel the love around, but then there are moments inside the room, I feel lonely, so lonely that my favorite companions, like pen, paper, pencil, etc. start reflecting my pain, loneliness, and more on paper, canvas, etc.
The worst part is people look into my eyes, especially today to be able to read my loneliness and pain. Be it my posts on social channels or on messenger, there are many eyes that stick to my profiles to judge me, to call me sad if I post anything related to love or emotions today, etc.
I am happy, life has blessed me with a lot of stuff, but I also have the right to feel that pain thats gone, long time ago. Dancing pen on emotional heart-floor is just a sneak-peek into everything, valentine’s day bring into my life. Just these 24-hours and the emotional song of the heart will be over, and that dancing pen of mine will run out of ink.
Over to you…
Don’t judge me on this piece of writing. Its personal, and at the same time something I feel just on Valentine’s day or a couple of other days of the year. So, before you put any kind of burden on your mind, let me tell you I am a happy crazy soul, madly in love with family, writing, dogs, tea, and nature. So, relax, read, and respond.
Thanks so much for following my blog, and may you find a blessing there.
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I will surely check your posts. 🙂
I know this is an old post but I felt I needed to say something. I too have had my heart broken and have found love again. It probably didn’t work for a reason and it wasn’t the right person. The universe was not having it. I don’t know what the circumstances where but true love will only happen when you truly love and are happy with yourself. Yes you had every right to be sad on that day (same as when I’m sad on Christmas without my parents that died) but you are alive and you must enjoy the present moment of life. I almost died around the time you wrote the post but I am here and the love that I felt from people was real love. It was the Love from my friends and family by my side and even strangers praying for me in the rehabilitation and in hospital, now that is true love, not lust. I wish you all the best and look forward to reading more.
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Thank you so much. I totally agree with you. Love and care for the self is what brings inner happiness and boost us to love others too🙂😍 Good day☺